Not a year goes by when you are not focusing on preparing for one or more teaching series on marriage. While the preparation may make you think about your own marriage, do you really follow through with what you learn? I still remember one of Pastor Ed’s first talks on marriage under a tent outside the High School where Fellowship Church first began. I still remember his three point outline after over 20 years. Here it goes:
Point number one: Marriage takes work.
Point number two: Marriage takes work.
Point number three: Marriage takes work.
There you go; a pretty simple outline for your next sermon on marriage. So what’s the real point? INTENTIONALITY.
1. BE INTENTIONAL about keeping close. Making sure you have at least a couple significant conversations each day. This may mean telling a meaningful story or two about your day, not just going over the schedule and telling your spouse what you did. Tell her how what you did impacted you.
2. BE INTENTIONAL on working to resolve the emotional “pinches” that cause us just a little pain. We often think it’s no big deal, so we ignore the pain and move on through the day without revisiting the conversation. That doesn’t mean we address every single issue. That’s like therapy all day and who wants that? Maybe me, but that’s another blog point!
3. BE INTENTIONAL about keeping your dreams at the forefront of your weekly conversations. Without a vision, people perish; without dreams, marriages wither and die as well. Talk about your future together, whether it’s about next week, next year or next decade. Remind each other that you two are a team, not just in ministry but in life.
4. BE INTENTIONAL about modeling fresh vulnerability to others. Pastors Ed and Lisa have consistently modeled their marriage and family as being riddled with humanity. We all know the truth of that but it’s always easier to say than to do. When I hear of the struggles of others, especially my leaders, it makes me feel really good about being real in my own marriage.
5. BE INTENTIONAL about being positive with each other. Oftentimes the ones we love the most are the ones we let down our guard with. Kindness, consideration, and respect are never out of style. Keep up with encouraging each other. When was the last time you asked your spouse, “how could I pray for you today?”
Dr. Cude is an active member of Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas. He and his wife, Ann are active in the Marriage Ministry having led the newlywed seminar since 1990. As a family, they enjoy baseball, golf, ping pong, and hanging out together.
Dr. Jonathan Cude
Las Colinas Counseling Center, P.A.
Ph.D. in Marriage and Family Therapy from TWU (1991)
M.A. in Marriage and Family Therapy from Southwestern Seminary (1984)
B.A. in Psychology from Baylor University (1980)
Internship at Southwest Family Institute (Dallas)
Professional licenses held in Texas as both a Licensed Professional Counselor and as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Family: Married for nearly 25 years to Ann. Two boys: Chris and Jon Michael
1991 to Current: Private Practice
1989 to 1991: Cedars Hospital in DeSoto, Texas, Clinical Director of Christian Program
1988-1989: DFW Medical Center CareUnit, Family Therapist on Chemical Dependancy Unit
1981-1988: Minister of Youth, FBC, Irving
For more resources please see below:
-Creative Marriage By Ed and Lisa Young
-What's Love Got to Do With It? Series by Ed Young
-Marriage in Ministry & Woman in Ministry Webinars with Ed & Lisa Young and Julie Richard of Lake Hills Church